What do you want to be when you grow up?

When your a stay at home mom that is not home schooling you get asked this one question all the time... They look at your youngest and say oh well you have only.....X amount of time left before they start school.... What are you going to do then? Are you going back to work?  I am not going to lie that question has me running to a therapist for hours of help.  Yes i do plan to go back to work, I am not a women who is going to sit at home waiting of my kids to return home from school each day. I feel like i should help contribute to the family.
 Since my college eduction was a degree in hair and i don't have my license anymore i feel like i have fallen behind and it's a total start over. My past jobs are not ones i want to go back to ever! The thought of going to college scares me but i feel like you can't get a good job if you don't have a degree in something. I wish i knew what my something was.

I wish you can have a job doing the stuff you love and have it pay you. I love being creative and doing craft like activities but for some reason that doesn't pay. I also have this cloud over me saying i want my kids to be proud of there mother career.  Finding yourself mid thirties is intimating!!! But i will have to push past my fears and figure this out. I hear retired people at the gym asking each other what there career job was when they worked and i have always gotten anxious about that question being asked to me. Some people give you that blank stare when you say you stay home with your kids, which is always fun to watch. But my past job was not glamour or even fun, i cleaned houses for people and the company i worked for treated me like crap. It was a temp job that lasted way to long, but it provided for my family during the economic doom. So it was not a total fail. At first i thought i might like it because i love cleaning it therapeutic for me, and see the inside of lots of different houses was fun for a little while.

I have a list of things i love

Such as.....

taking pictures
hot gluing
repurposing items
making list

And I'm sure there is so many more. But i need to figure out how list can turn into a job.  I also get discouraged when my hands flare up and the things i love doing become things i can't do. I have to be realistic.
I took a aptitude test online and that was a joke. Here is the list they suggested for me

Payroll and timekeeper clerk
insurance claimed clerk
bill and account collector
legal secretary
graders and sorters agriculture products
gaming and sports book writer and runners
medical secretaries
customer service rep
first line supervisor of food and prep and serving workers
sewers, hand

Do any of those make you giggle a little? I know i chuckled over this. I began wondering how they got those from the questions they asked. Does anyone else struggle with this or have felt that way?

That age old question what do you want to be when you grow up is still a question I'm asking myself! I do believe i am not alone but I'm excited to see what the future has in store!


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